Just recently I have had a few experiences that have been very powerful. The best part... they were meant just for me. It is hard for me to explain my feelings. Being 34 and single has its moments! Unless you are in this lovely category of "old-maid", you won't understand the feelings of loneliness and frustration. Along with those feelings come other negative words into your mind. Here is what happened to me that has changed my life. I got on my knees one night, feeling really low. I began to pray only to feel alone. Then it happened. I got this impression (I know it was from the Spirit) that I should write ALL the negative words I felt about myself down on a piece of paper. I obeyed. The list was pretty gruesome!! Words like undesirable (because you wonder if THAT is the reason you are still single...), pathetic, unreliable, lame, etc. (the list was pretty long for me). After I made the list I thought, "well, that made me feel better... not!" Then the prompting came to me to write at the top of that list "Satan's Words". I did. Then I was prompted to write on the other side of the paper "God's Words", and write a list of words, words that describe who I really am! Words like compassionate, Christlike, selfless, funny, etc. When I was done, the Spirit whispered to me that I need to make sure that I am always listening to my Heavenly Father's words. And that when I feel the negative words in my life, that those come from Satan. I have to say, that was a very powerful experience for me.
Then I was up camping. It was AWESOME!! On my last night there I became really sad (in my tent). While I was praying, the feeling came over me to not be sad that I have to leave, but be glad that I was able to go up there. Then I was taught that lately I have been looking on the negative side ("glass half-empty" syndrome), and that I want to be a "glass half-full" kind of girl. Since then, I have been more optimistic in my life. I finally feel myself going back up the hill (it's been over a year since I have felt this!) And let me just say... it feels great!
I am adding this picture, because you have to climb to get to the top of something... it takes perseverance!
Our view from the top of the saddle
2 comments:
Hey Missi! Hope you don't mind my stalking, but that's what you get when I become your friend on Facebook. ;)
I've enjoyed reading through your posts, and especially this last post. When I first read your "Satan" list, I thought, "Is she crazy?! Missi is the least lame person I know!" I think regardless of where we are in life, we all tend to have a list like this. I know I do. But I'm so glad for your reminder that those are all Satan's way of bringing us down. If only we could always see ourselves as others do, or as our Savior does!
Anywho, I think your awesome. And I miss our play practice days!! :)
Just for the record, I think you're beautiful, and smart, and totally amazing! I KNOW the only reason you're still single is that God is busy putting the finishing touches on that one perfect person who is meant for you. (Seriously, men take a LOT longer to work all the bugs out.) Anyway, meanwhile, just keep on being yourself, because you're awesome just the way you are. You rock!!!
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